Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A wise and pleasant discourse on Facebook

dear mr cracker--

it's my birthday, so f**k you and your master's degree. If you don't email me back i'm going to come all the way to winnipeg just to spray warm beer on you, right there on your front lawn, and to hurl insults about your manhood and about the quality of your meta-socio analysis. Shamed in front of all the neighbors. It will be glorious.

I'm going to begin with Joyce, then move onto Willie Shakespeare, and then using the Bible and Beowulf and the Kalivlah I shall dismantle your various and tragically erroneous world-views.

Wow. That is the best trash talk EVER. I'm serious. Don't try to top it.

I DO in fact bite my thumb sir.

Whether i bite it towards you or not, the law must decide.



reply from Kristian Enright
19 mai, à 21:31

Wolfboy, your perpetual stink has climbed upon the air like an abuse, and this, like some perverse cologne, is the best thing about you.

I am surprised you had time to not pay attention to the women jumping out of cakes that you payed with your rip off Al Purdy impressions, and that you have learned to use words larger than those which correspond to a dismal wit that Oscar Wilde would call molecular,

and bite your thumb all you want: protesting being human are you?

please-- you are a mannequin in a Giant Tiger window, with your false finger stuck permanently up your nose, probably the only thing that held your interest up until maturity or shall we say precocious senility?

How is your zit popping connect the dots epic going?
Oh, really? you accidentally burst your own head?
Ha! well, at least no brain matter was lost! you probably think that
brain matter is what constitutes a hat!

screw you.

Happy Birthday,
Love Kristian


cara said...

I can't stop laughing.

please continue to verbally abuse Kristian until he posts something on this blog.

thank you.

Quitmoanez said...

F'n funny.

Maitaca said...

you guys just made my day