We as humans have been both plagued and saved from the fear of death simply because of the fact that we have been spawned from the system that is built upon the force of perpetuating life. Life and death are intertwined, inseperable as are good and evil.
Once one accepts the inevitability of both poles of reality and realizes that neither extremes are benevolent or malevolent in their inherent nature is the only way in which one can achieve the grace to navigate through each reality, moment by moment which neccesarily encompasses both extremes.
It's only through love, strength and acceptance of these fundamental facts that we can hope to transcend the factory of ideals, compartmentalism, exclusion, and alienation from the common force that has primordially unified us all since the dawn of time. Fear of death equals selfishness, and as humans I believe we have the capacity to transcend this shackling propensity. We're all going to die someday, that's a fundamental truth. Fear is a natural reaction to this tenet, and no one should be ashamed of experiencing it as it is a logical fear to be extricated from the only idea we have of life. The unknown is what we really fear.
So maybe the key is not to fight death, but to realize that it's just as beautiful as birth and just as necessary to our existence on this planet.
Like a type of weird book that you loan from the library and eventually have to return so someone else can read it.
However, with this fear of death that has been packaged and sold to us, through conscious and subconscious means, we all seem to have this unspoken desire to live forever. The idea that we can fight through everything, with magic and science technology and skin peels. But what if we can't. Is it the death denial of our society that allows us to shave away forests and replace them with manmade clones in digital linear rows in place of the chaotic and fruitful ones. Does it allow us to vomit billions of dollars worth of beef onto land that was meant for us to sustain on it alone. Maybe our death denial allows us to ignore the fact that we can't keep this thing together for too much longer.
But who ever said that we were the smartest. When did God ever come down to say that you deserve to live forever?
I have a secret desire to live for just 400 years then I could do the work of at least four people. That would be fun. 80 years seems short to me. Imagine the possibilities.
You can see microcosms of all these truths in the mundane existence of everyday life. Fly gets swatted on the wall but he/she tries to run away for fear of dying. In a linear way, body language reflects primal urges of lust and aggression that may be too primitive for us to even be aware of. It's all just a big messed up soup of love, cells, hate, ugliness, beauty, dirt, water, and dust that we find ourselves in these days.
One thing I've experience in nursing school is the fascination in seeing things evolve from being obscure and mindless into something this is very visceral and tangible. There's a certain addiction to seeing these realities unfold so effortlessly. It challenges my fear of death. But out of this revelation can come this sick preoccupation of actually witnessing these osbcure idealisms being born into harsh yet beautiful realities, and from that stems a humour so dark it could almost be confused with being morbid. You are the witness and have the opportunity to heal (which in itself remains obscure yet undeniably powerful), and with your humble hands finding out that you do have the power to heal doesn't take away from yourself but makes you STRONGER. But you have to be careful.
You know when sometimes you have that feeling that two concepts, ideas, or experiences have clashed and the clashing feels like a slow chemical reaction that is releasing all these substances and you know that this is changing you, for good. It can be beneficial, but I've seen it make alot of people hard, and hating.
Maybe that is just our inherited fear?
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15 comments:
Yowzers, good morning!
Funny enough, Roberts told me the same thing yesterday, that dying is a natural event in life, everyone has to do it, so in that sense it shouldn't be as frightening as it is, just par for the course, like popping that first zit, or that first rejection in love, it just happens, and there's nothing you can do.
It is what it is, you dig?
:)
Humankind cannot stand very much reality.
T. S. Eliot
To be perfectly honest, I've never been afraid of death. In fact, on many occasions, I've wished I could experience death but come back from it. You know - to see what is beyond, or if there's anything after this life at all?
What I am afraid of is suffering. I think many people confuse fear of death with fear of suffering. In that way, I hope I die like Krisjan, instantly - or conversely, quietly in my sleep.
Sometimes I think of Damon, and the force of will it took to stop his own treatment. Because I think, honestly, that he knew stopping likely meant he’d die. But he was okay with that. That kind of clarity of mind is staggering - yet simultaneously peaceful and in someway, revitalizing to think of.
To experience death but come back from it, is to not experience death.
I think what Anita said about fear of the unknown is right on the mark. It's not that things come to an end, but that we don't know what happens next that confounds us.
Kids are not afraid to grow up, in fact they often want to speed up the process. Why? They can see the end result all around them, the privilege and power in the adult world (of course, they don't know the whole story...)
If we knew what was on the other side of death, whatever it might be, we wouldn't be so anxious about it; we might even want to get there sooner! But the knowing what it was would mean it was not death.
Death is the end of knowing. Not knowledge, but knowing.
That is the power and hold it has on us.
When knowing is no longer important to you, then you will have no fear of death.
Conversely, I might add, that when people are certain (often through some sort of religious belief) about what there is after death, they often seem much less afraid of the process, even looking forward to it!
P.S. GREAT post, by the way...
Great comments.
Interestingly, over the last two years, regardless of my faith, and I mean regardless, I became increasingly of the mindset that once you die, that is it. Full stop. The gift of one life is enough of a gift in my opinion (regardless of the balance between good and bad in any life).
This approach was sobering, as it makes everything and nothing matter all at once.
Yet I am again responding to my intuition as of late, and am once again bothered by this little voice that tells me there is indeed something more going on here.
I wish I knew what it was. But if Onosson is correct, then it is mastering this need to know that is the real test.
Hmmm. Although I would like to know the mystery of the after-life (if there exists an afterlife), I don't feel that it has any sort of hold over me.
I’ve spent a great deal of time (and in many ways still do) thinking exactly along the lines of what Carlos said. Would there be anything wrong with one life to live - decomposing into the earth after that one life is spent? I don't really think so. I guess I'm open to the myriad of possibilities, but don't feel held or confined by any of them.
It is the unknown quality of death that drives us to contemplate it with such intensity, as a people. Much in the same way we contemplate the purpose of the one life we are given and what we are supposed to do with it - ergo religion and what it does for its faithful.
What I was getting at was based more on personal experience. I find that in the conversations I’ve had about death, the majority of those I talk to fear the cause of death, rather than the death itself. That’s what I meant by the fear of suffering i.e. fearing death from old age because you fear becoming senile, fearing death from sickness because you fear pain of treatment/illness, etc. To me, although often-times related to death, these are not one and the same and are frequently confused.
Sorry, I kind of sped through the end of that last comment because I thought they were shutting our computers down right away.
As far as the unknown, I agree – sort of. That same unknown is what drives humanity in almost every facet of life. It's the reason we pursue science, exploration, religion, philosophy and probably art as well. Knowing all the answers, or even some of them, would likely make life not worth living. The microcosm of this can be seen in something as everyday as your average blockbuster thriller. We all want to know the story, the truth, but simultaneously, we don't. Is knowing directly tied to people’s fear of death? Part of me wants to say yes, but another part of me denies it being that simple. Do all of those who believe in religion have an easier time accepting death because they “know”? Is ignorance or apathy the same as knowing (I’m not tying this question to religion)? I think there are probably a lot of faithful people out there that fear death as much as the unfaithful. And some of them likely fear it for the same reason I mentioned before – fear of suffering – eternal suffering. That fear has been used to control and dominate people for many, many years.
But, I don't want to turn this conversation into a debate on religion. It was a good post, I just wanted to clarify what I was saying.
This topic brings out the buddhist in me!
Seriously, there is one aspect of buddhism that really speaks to me, and is really relevant here. I just found this quote from the Dalai Lama on this page which sums it up: "Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is the cause of suffering."
That's what I mean about knowing, as far as the desire (i.e. attachment) involved in wanting to know. We want to know what will lead to our death (will there be pain?); we want to know what will come after; we want to know why death must exist at all; etc.
If the Buddha got anything right at all, it is that we must let go of all of our attachments in order to truly be free. I can't say that this is something I have in any way truly achieved, and even in "achieving" there is attachment. It is something to be seen, accepted, realized, understood, and lived.
The irony is that, when it comes to death, it will take us all, attachments or no.
I took an Understanding Religions course in University, where I first heard that quote. Now that you bring it up and in the context of this conversation, I appreciate it even more. Nicely done!
Damon once lent me a book called World Religions, World Bible or something like that. It essentially delivers the fundamental tenets behind all the world's major religions. A very good read.
Sky, I don't know if you've seen it already, but Andrew (Smoky Tiger) linked me the Zeitgeist Movie of which the first chapter, on paganism and it's evolution into modern religion really effected me. If you haven't seen it, you should check it out. At least that first bit - the rest is a little conspiracy theory heavy, but still good. You should be able to get it just by Googling.
Thanks again for that quote – kinda made my day!
anita
I really appeciated this post.
It must be a very strange and interesting position to be in, being a witness to very private living and dying moments in people's lives. In light of what you said about your humour, it made me smile.
A friend of mine is a nurse and she was complaining yesterday that she got home only to find she had specks of blood still on her face from the last delivery (she is a labour/delivery nurse)...she promptly phoned back the nursing unit to laugh with her colleagues about the fact that they let her walk around with blood on her face all day.
Have you ever wondered if your obituary picture has already been taken?
And the irony of the obit pic. Usually taken when someone is having a great time, not knowing that the image of that flash will be the last one most people ever see?
http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://homepage.mac.com/genedebs1/iblog/B145388589/C1774996060/E869776329/Media/cubacritter.jpg&imgrefurl=http://homepage.mac.com/genedebs1/iblog/B145388589/C1774996060/E869776329/index.html&h=315&w=410&sz=24&tbnid=k9CKH4BT1WkJ:&tbnh=96&tbnw=125&prev=/images%3Fq%3DAlmiqui&hl=en&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=1&ct=image&cd=1
yeah, so maybe because we deny death, and therefore deny that anything will one day be gone, we consume and consume to a very destructive point.
I've never had blood sprayed on my face. hehe. I guess worse things can happen. I'm doing psych right now and there's some patients on my ward who have punched and strangled nurses. Somehow I'm not that scared.
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