From the files of Maximo vs. Krahn.

I am going to make this short but sweet: Mr. Josey Krahn, Esq.'s witticisms are complete drivel. If you don't believe me, see for yourself. Here's a quick review: Mr. Krahn teaches workshops on simplism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp. He is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every meddlesome ideology finds expression in Josey Krahn. I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not afraid to say that some of his fibs raise important questions about future social interactions and their relationship to civil liberties, and everyone with half a brain understands that. What Mr. Krahn doesn't realize is that he either is or elects to be ignorant of scientific principles and methods. Mr. Krahn even intentionally misuses scientific terminology to condone universal oppression.
The nettlesome ruffianism I've been writing about is not primarily the fault of unctuous, querulous politicasters, nor of the destructive, reprehensible malingerers who engulf the world in a dense miasma of fetishism. It is the fault of Josey Krahn. I like to face facts. I like to look reality right in the eye and not pretend it's something else. And the reality of our present situation is this: He has announced his intentions to devalue me as a person. While doing so may earn Mr. Krahn a gold star from the mush-for-brains opportunism crowd, I've never bothered him. Yet he wants to steal the fruits of other people's labor. Whatever happened to "live and let live"? Whenever there's an argument about Mr. Krahn's devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that what our nation needs is more respect for the law, not less. That should settle the argument pretty quickly.
Mr. Krahn presents himself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. He is eloquent in his denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors malignant dopeheads. And here we have the ultimate irony, because his eccentricity is surpassed only by his vanity. And Mr. Krahn's vanity is surpassed only by his empty theorizing. (Remember his theory that his sermons are Holy Writ?) Nature is a wonderful teacher. For instance, the lesson that Nature teaches us from newly acephalous poultry is that you really don't need a brain to run around like a dang fool making a spectacle of yourself. Nature also teaches us that Mr. Krahn is like a pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between Mr. Krahn and a pigeon is that Mr. Krahn intends to tell us how to live, what to say, what to think, what to know, and -- most importantly -- what not to know. That's why to believe that we should all bear the brunt of Mr. Krahn's actions is to deceive ourselves.
Naive varmints are more susceptible to Mr. Krahn's brainwashing tactics than are any other group. Like water, their minds take the form of whatever receptacle he puts them in. They then lose all recollection that I try never to argue with Mr. Krahn, because it's clear he's not susceptible to reason. There's one thing you can indeed say about him: He has a sense of humor. He was being a real comedian when he told us that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape.
When you tell Mr. Krahn's satraps that writing instructors seeking to introduce the concept of "priggism" into their curricula could hardly do better than to use Mr. Krahn's ruses as an example, they begin to get fidgety, and their eyes begin to wander. They really don't care. They have no interest in hearing that his list of sins is long and each one deserves more space than I have here. Therefore, rather than describe each one individually, I'll summarize by stating that the first lies that Mr. Krahn told us were relatively benign. Still, they have been progressing. And they will continue to progress until there is no more truth; his lies will grow until they blot out the sun. Unless we reinforce the contentions of all reasonable people and confute those of irrational card sharks, no real changes will ever occur. Equally important is the fact that Mr. Krahn's more than mindless. He's mega-mindless. In fact, to understand just how mindless Mr. Krahn is, you first need to realize that I am not trying to save the world -- I gave up that pursuit a long time ago. But I am trying to suggest the kind of politics and policies that are needed to restore good sense to this important debate. You might say, "He is as uncivilized as he is barbaric." Fine, I agree. But he takes things out of context, twists them around, and then neglects to provide decent referencing so the reader can check up on him. Mr. Krahn also ignores all of the evidence that doesn't support (or in many cases directly contradicts) his position. Every time Mr. Josey Krahn, Esq. attempts to write off whole sections of society, I feel a surge of pure, unadulterated hatred flow through my body. And that's all I have to say.

Sincerely,

The Baron,
Don Von Maximo

http://www.pakin.org/complaint/