Thursday, May 04, 2006

Response to Luminous Boy


A luminous boy indeed
little light kept bright
creating strings of love
tears and joyous shouts across
streams of Web
and
small smiles
sunrises and
lupine pacing paternal
and the vessel cradles
great anticipation
and they (all)
watching this time

where he lays his head
what his eyes tell
of who he might
be.

18 comments:

cara said...

James and Shawna, I hope this wasn't too forward of me as I'm pretty new to this group.

I just wrote this without edit, and thought of the great joy that pictures and references to Dru have elicited in almost everyone who contributes in this (cyber) space. He obviously is very special to a lot of people.

Lorne Roberts said...

i don't like the first stanza-- it feels genuine, but unedited (which you said it was).

the second, though, is pure gold.

and i'm sure others will have their own views on it, of course.

greg oakes said...

oh yeah, that was waaay cool!!! :)

go

Anonymous said...

Wolfboy!?

:)

J C said...

excellent! I combined the two pieces, I hope that's okay. More of this co-authorship is what this blog needs!

cara said...

Thanks James, that is more than okay with me.
I love collaboration.

David, thanks for the defense and in principle I agree with you, but I wasn't offended by wolfboy, after all he is feral
:)

Although wolfboy I think I at least deserve some edits and suggestions vs just not liking it and then leaving me hanging.

SO, get to WORK.

Lorne Roberts said...

i certainly didn't mean to be harsh, which is how it may have come across.

indeed-- this falls under the "show, don't tell" rule-- show the indeed, without having to tell it.

or, use "in deed". then it's a word play.

"tears and joyous shouts across strings of Web" feels too contrived to me. too self-consciously poetic, unlike yr usual stuff which feels more natural. and i don't understand the "lupus pacing paternal" line. isn't lupus a disease?
or is this a wolf-ish thing? lupine?

anyway, as i said, the second stanza rocks.

cara said...

Nice play on words indeed.

I'm laughing my head off now, "lupus" not the same as "lupine"....that's what you get with a History degree. Yup, a disease characterized by skin lesions apparently,SHEESH.

I meant to make reference to James being up all night and to reference the moon pictures he posted.

I disagree about "tears and joyous shouts across strings of Web" being contrived, because this whole thing was knee jerk so that is interesing that you read it that way. I'm just referencing Carlos saying "Dominicus Joyous!!"

But I will rewrite it but I'm going to leave the post as is, except I gotta edit out lupus.

It wasn't harsh just honest and that's a okay with me.

Thanks for the edit.

TheBlueMask said...

what happened to Macro`s comment?

Anonymous said...

Does authorship give a person the right to deletion in a public forum?

Lorne Roberts said...

good question--

what did happen to the comments? i say once someone's put their words out there, they could/should stand by them, or blush at them, or whatever. but i say once they're up, they stay up, right? no? yes?

renamaphone said...

Don't take this the wrong way....but didn't the same thing happen to Blizzo's post on temporary retirement?

I think we all have the freedom to retract our words/posts. On the other hand, if others do it for us, then I've got a problem...

God knows I would have exercised that ability a couple times in this forum if it were justifiable.

(I'm pretty particular about who's poo or penis I like to look at, even if I happen to love their owner.)

TheBlueMask said...

ZING!

Lorne Roberts said...

ZANG!

J C said...

Zoooom!

I'm on the fence when it comes to what can be deleted and who can delete.

I'm not sure what happened to Macro's comment, I imagine he deleted it.

Somedays I think the author can do what he/she wants, post/delete/repost/retire.

Other days I think some things are better left unsaid and should be removed, and its on those days that I use a case by case scenario to choose what I delete.

Poo and cock pictures? Completely disgusting! Swear words too! Cut those out. Breasts gotta go. No nipples as well. Might as well remove bums, people peeing...anything to do with sex, bodily wastes...

We should get a vote on this...

I warn you the great melee is not PG-13, although the blog poliuce could come crashing into my apartment at any moment....

TheBlueMask said...

are there guidelines of decency on blogger? I`m seriously unaware if there is, aside from the obvious nasty illeagal stuff.
I see a "report abuse of" option....but I think ALFA is pretty tame in comparison to others I`ve seen. You`re the commander of the site JC, let us know what our parameters are.
I thought some previous edits were a lil` over the top myself (eg, a beer bottle in hand) this is the net after all.
I sense a concern in you with GO`s entries. I like how he shakes things up. But if there is something we should know, let us in!

Lorne Roberts said...

yikes.

someone with a beer bottle? as in they were drinking... (gulp)... beer???

hopefully someone got rid of it?

heeheehee...

i think the standards of decency are "would you be ok with your friends/family/co-workers/loved ones/kids seeing or reading it?"

J C said...

I agree with Wolfboy. Those standards can certainly apply to A Love For Art.

Now if you want dirty and nasty, go to the great melee, where the stuggle of what can and can't be posted continues.