In Mice, We Trust
Little did the magic care
That the flames were tired and cold
But I will turn away from you
When you have no knives to share
And something to say
Burn into the end of my dreams
Watching the witch burn down
Here come all the imps again
Watching the thief hang wound
Majesties of the loyal
Hunted the dust and the lost
And the angels were high and all alone
And we all just walked away
But the celebrities
Of the remedial cults
Will forgive what’s hung and gone
Yet we still all have symptoms
We still wonder why
The dog bites the child
Holding it’s tail like a rubber band
But the mice hold no truth
They just scurry past our feet,
They tear us under our own heads
For we need to follow them back in the cupboards
Where our dishes are chewed and leeched
In mice, we trust
-----> Perhaps there is nothing else to what has been said, perhaps there is nothing but more.
3 comments:
Let me be honest:
At first, I find it adolescent, and that makes sense relative to you being an adolescent.
But then, I find it quite brilliant, as these thoughts are not adolescent at all, but teem with a sensitivity and understanding that is more than sound, it is responsible.
Good for you Hand Outs, good for you.
Keep them coming.
In mice, we trust!
In mice, we trust!
In mice, we trust!
F'n love it.
I like the "in mice we trust" too.
Great work.
My only suggestion is to try to paint us a picture without so many scenes going on at one time, no matter how surreal or magical
That is why the mice part is so good, because it holds one idea and fleshes it out.
Keep it up Hands Out.
i agree w/ cara-- too many scenes.
the meaning/point gets lost.
hold one idea (as she says) and flesh it out, rather than 25 ideas, as good as each of those 25 may be.
one single idea/theme has more impact on the reader/listener.
so, in a word, i'd say "focus".
keep going. these are good. it's a long journey from a first draft (which these may be) to a finished piece, so keep working on 'em.
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