Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The social bases of self-esteem


You can bring a horse to water, some will drink and some will not, but you need a system to bring the horses nonetheless:
Love
Water
Food
Shelter
Education
Opportunity
Rage
Help if you can
Kill if you must
This is the Law

15 comments:

Lorne Roberts said...

golly.

pic by CQ?

intense.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I need some clarity. Bases...like running the bases? or do you mean basis?


And where does this style of writing fall...poetry or something else?

I likes.

Lorne Roberts said...

bases is the plural for basis.

Anonymous said...

ahhhh.why is the english language so weird?

D. Sky Onosson said...

Bases is also the plural of base! And, basis and base are related words... So, not so weird, but not so not weird. <- Disclaimer: any language that can make that last sentence is at least partly weird.

Anonymous said...

i really like this. it reminds me of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, dont know if any of you know about that.

The last step after love, food, water, shelter, and others is self actualization.

frickin useless psychology degree...

D. Sky Onosson said...

Where does self-destruction fit into the hierarchy?

Anonymous said...

Maslow indeed Anita! Do you remember the drawing I did of Abraham Maslow's ladder?

http://alabelforartists.blogspot.com/2007/11/abraham-maslows-ladder.html

I think that self destruction would either be at the top of the ladder as an actualization or possibly at the bottom, below the first rung?
Interesting....mmmmm

D. Sky Onosson said...

Self-destruction is the slide you ride on from the top to the bottom again...

Anonymous said...

From what I know, he doesnt talk about self destruction at all.

Maslow's hierarchy is sectioned into five hierarchical levels of needs, one can't be achieved unless the previous one is satisfied:

1.Physiological
2.Safety/security
3.Love/Belonging: (friendship, family, sexual intimacy)
4.Esteem (confidence, achievement, respect)
5.Self Actualization ( morality, creativity, spontanaetiy, lack of prejudice).

From my point of view, these levels parallel the stages of human development. An infant can't conceive of morality, they need their physiological and safety needs to be satisfied until they can develop belonging needs.

I think that self destruction is very different depending on what level of needs have been satisfied.

I have seen many people who grow up without having the first or second level of needs met in their early life develop into people who destroy themselves and others (their offspring) and can't seem to get out of the cycle.

On the other hand, I have seen others who have climbed up to the ladder of self actualization and then engage in self destructive behaviors, and yet don't seem to lose complete control.

I know there are exceptions to both circumstances.

Sometimes self-destruction can be a philosophical challenge, if you feel secure and your morale is strong enough to survive that journey. At that point it can be like having the skills of an adult and experiencing the world through innocent eyes.

D. Sky Onosson said...

Hmmmm... I was actually being facetious with my first comment, I've seen the hierarchy before, at various times in the past, and I generally agree with it. But I think there is something to what you say.

I would say that some might be able to relinquish the skills they have acquired in adulthood, and re-experience the world as a child. A rare talent to have...

Anonymous said...

Once you acquire those basic skills you never lose them, they become automatic.

If you become aware that wonder rewards you, then wonder is what you will find.

Lorne Roberts said...

yep.

sweet.

interesting points re self-actualization vs self-destructive behaviour.

i would argue that most of us, to some degree, can be slotted in there--somewhat self-actualized, but still needing/wanting that regression sometimes.

D.Macri said...

I figure this is poetic, and I am in the school of "don't even mess with peoples poetry", but there are some things I disagree with, and hope you don't mind me saying so.

You can bring a horse to water, the thirsty will drink and the not-so-thirsty will not, but likely, the horse would be better off wild, without you leading it anywhere.

In a different order...

Opportunity (to exist)

Rage (I think I would also choose an alternative word for your principal, but I do like this one, having been explained what you mean. I might just use the word "Will" {as in - will to live}).

Water
Food
Shelter
Help (not "if you can", this is a requirement if you've entered/are entering the love stage)
Love
Education (in the school of life)



Kill if you must (but that better be some intensely serious "must", otherwise don't kill at all.

This is one set of many sets of human laws. Most of us have them in one way or another, whether we recognize them or not. Everyone has different perceptions, and I think it's a good exercise to compare and talk about them (or make poems and art etc). That's a big reason I come back to this blog. The more relationships I build and the more I try and understand people, the more I can grasp the range of human experience, and make decisions, and conduct myself informed by my relation to them.

Horselvr said...

Poor horse. Some people are so stupid!!