Sunday, January 18, 2009

Solitude



When we talked about your poem, I remember how surprised you were that someone appeared to relate.
But it was easy for me to understand, since I had also dreamt that bewitching dream.
It was so real and painful that a whimper still echoes in my mind.

We sat by the dock watching the feeding minnows ripple the surface.
She wrapped her arms around me, and the sun was softly shining in the clear morning air.
Birds were chirping and there was nothing wrong.
Then I woke up and felt that world slip away.
My hissing radio alarm clock chimed me into the reality of my isolation.
I never dream of being alone.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awesome words.

cara said...

I especially like that you created two different pictures for us (word pictures).

I really like the last line in the first stanza.
"It was so real and painful..."

and your closing stanza. "I never dream.."

It's really beautiful.

Are you addressing a particular person in this poem or telling a story?

renamaphone said...

Yes. I like very much. This will stay with me for a couple days, I think.

cara said...

Also, the image of the dock with the minnows is great.

Anonymous said...

Thanks. It was hard to press the "publish to blog" button here. I was expecting any minute for a hockey team to burst in through my door to mock me, and call me a sissy.

=P

cara said...

Poets are tough.
Check out Arthor Cravan the "pugilist-poet" and tough guys like Bukowski, not to mention renegades like wolfboy and quitmonez, now those guys are scary.

Lorne Roberts said...

yeah, we do push ups. vigorous ones.

i'd suggest several changes (of course), but i really like it.

it's sort of happy/sad.


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shan random said...

Good Work.