Green Envy (Do you want to dominate yourself?)

I.

This green envy
of my soul
that makes me
numb

Reaching where I reach
living where I live
it can feel
it knows me

and I want it
to go away

It's a failure of me
its membership
in my fibre
fails me

it does not deliver me
It eats me
It dominates me

II.

It crawls along with my self
feeding into every corpuscle
that rounds me out

That makes me feel whole
complete, numb from the rage
of that Chinese woman
with all the bags, begging
out her food insecurity

drowned out in State
collecting bags
that broke her mind

and we fail her
of the essence

and I hate
what this is

I am many faces
I am many beings
I am

healthy
loving
cared for
and resistant

I dominate me
but know that you have failed
today

and you are yet free

to be
is not
is
in me